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dog jokes and puns

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Nov 26, 2019

35 dog jokes and puns to make you laugh or groan

By Bryn Pottie
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Owning a dog isn’t always a treat, sometimes can be downright ruff! It’s good to paws and take a moment to appreciate the lighter side, so we fetched some the best dog puns and jokes, to make you howl with laughter!

Why did the beagle behave during his walk?

It was the leash he could do!

After accepting a pawposal, why did the puppy eat an engagement ring?

So it could have a diamond in the ruff!

Who created Fleas-book?

Bark Zuckerburg.

What education do you need to be a dog owner?

A master’s degree!

What’s a trendy new pizza for dogs?

Collie flower crust!

What do dogs say when they have a drink together?

Bottoms pup!

Which dogs love tax cuts?

Repuplicans.

Why did the daschund get a trophy?

Because he was a weiner!

How did the puppy get out of jail?

He got paw-roled!

Why did the dog get in trouble for giving birth outdoors?

She was littering!

What did the dog ask Pat Sajak?

Can I buy a howl?

What is an English dog’s favourite contact sport?

Pugby.

Why is it boring to watch dogs play baseball?

They keep getting walked!

What big dog makes the best plumber?

A Great Drain!

What app delivers to good dogs?

Uber Treats!

How does a dog listen to music?

With Air Buds!

What dog plays Harry Paw-ter?

Spaniel Radcliffe.

Why did the vet tell the dog to lose weight?

He was a little husky!

Who was the first dog president?

Rover Cleveland.

Why did the optometrist turn off 101 Dalmatians

He kept seeing spots!

What board game do dogs play?

Irish Setters Of Catan!

Who sings Mid-Bite train to Georgia?

Gladys Knight And The Pups

What do dogs wear when it's cold?

A Sc-arf!

What did the struggling man with no dog say?

Could someone give me a hound with this?

Why didn't the dog sniff the other dogs butt?

He found it repugnant!

What did the dog say when he was reminded to call his mom?

I’ll collar later.

What’s a puppy’s favorite reality show?

Keeping Up With The Kar-daschunds.

Who’s the best vet in town?

The Ace of spays!

How does a puppy play video games?

Xbarx!

What should you never serve at a dog’s birthday party?

Pound cake!

Where do dogs go to relax?

The day Spaw!

What 80s band do dogs love?

Howl and Oates! (Their hit song is “I Can’t Go For Cats”)

What did the dalmatian say to the German shepherd lifting weights?

Let me spot you!

What made the german shepherd get a job sniffing drugs?

Economic in-scent-ives.

What dog is fun at brunch?

Beagle and lox!

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